Architect na ako

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Architect Licensure Exam: How’s the waiting game going?

January 31, 2018

Aaaghhh!!! How long do we still have to wait for the results, PRC?! The website is just giving this red blinking line that says “now updating for the official list of passers…refresh page for the results.” It kinda gets into your nerves especially when you’ve been refreshing since noon. The website doesn’t say a specific day and time for the release but it says the results will be out on January 2018 and it’s already February tomorrow, so maybe? Why can’t PRC commit to an exact date anyway? I just want to get on with my life already! I’m such a scumbag since the last day of our exam, life feels like there’s no direction because I just don’t know where to start. I need to know first if I got through or not. Aside from being worthless, I even haven’t clean my room or fix any of my things since then. Still not in the mood going to the barbers yet, and ain’t have a plan taking a shower today because it requires too much effort.

All I do all day is eat, sleep, play Virtua Tennis 4, watch movies/YouTube videos and repeat. I’ve been trying to paint here and there just as I planned, but I’m not really feeling it. I thought I was yearning to do it for the past months but now that I have time, I realized it ain’t easy. I’m also trying to avoid conversation on social media with friends and officemates. I know these people are just concerned and I’m grateful for them but I just don’t have the energy to express myself yet. I don’t know what face I’ll be showing them if I failed. About the office, some of us will have to go back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, I’m scheduled to be back next week Monday, because damn, I’m so not yet ready.

The two films I watched recently, while devouring a pint of ice cream all by myself, was Ladybird and Call Me By Your Name because rumor has it that they’re good. I don’t know and care about you all might think, but I really love both films with all my heart! These are my kind of shit! Saoirse Ronan, Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet, they all have a special place in my heart now.

I’m going to end this post with a soundtrack from Call Me By Your Name, not sure if you can call it that because it’s a 1982 song but whatever. I love the other soundtracks as well but most of them just makes me want to cry, so I’m choosing this one with a nostalgic, peaceful and happy vibe instead.

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Architect Licensure Exam: Post Exam Anxiety

January 28, 2018, Sunday

Here we are. I can’t believe it’s already over and we’re now at the most dreaded time of the season – the waiting of results. Today was the last day of our Architecture Licensure Exam, and here I am in my room, tired and depressed. I missed the chomping sound of my keyboard, it kinda eases my current anxiety. It’s been a long time since I last used this because I’m stuck with my laptop and phone for the past review months. I’m now surrounded by all the review notes and post-its attached on my walls, the white polo shirt and socks I wore today, my NOA inside a plastic envelope, the bag I used, all lying around on floor, making me feel somber.

I just want to talk about this awful feeling me and most of my fellow examinees are going through right now. The morning exam on Friday was bearable for me, then came the afternoon exam which I felt 5x harder than the previous one. I felt uneasy because I wasn’t sure with most of my answers, most of them were just derived from what I know. It’s also annoying because out of all the things I studied, just around 5% of the exact and direct terms came out! Despite of it, my spirit didn’t break completely because I still had hopes that I could manage to pick it up on our next exam (which was today).

Unfortunately, it turned out to be just another tough exam! We had the whole day from 8am-6pm (tiring), yet it wasn’t enough for me to analyze and solve all the problems. We might have underestimated it. There was actually a time when I caught myself giving a laugh of disbelief on how complex one problem was, like, how the hell could I answer that? Also that moment, 1 hour left, when you realize you could fail this most important exam in your life! Horrible feeling. Then you remember all the money, time and effort you have dedicated for it. Pressure, disappointment and self-doubt among others, all coming to you like an avalanche as you try to make the most out of the time left.

Another predicament is explaining to my parents why it turned out like that, and it’s not an easy task. They usually want a concrete answer on what went wrong, and instead of pointing to anything/anyone else, I just own the burden. That’s true anyway. I just talked to papa over the phone and told him this and that, but there’s the feeling again that I did not translate everything well enough.

During my review and up to the last day of exam, I have these silly mindsets like I’m aiming to be part of the top, but I’m also scared to death that I would fail. I find that weird because that’s on the two opposite sides of spectrum. I also badly wanted this to be over immediately but at the same time, not, because I didn’t feel ready yet (I never did). But at this moment, all I wish is for me to pass the fucking board exam.

They say you could feel it deep in yourself if you’re going to pass, so I’m trying to assess my self hard if I’m really feeling it or maybe I’m just trying hard to be positive and making a fool out of myself! In the next few days, we’ll know what my fate is. Praying and hoping for the best whatever happens. Amen.

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Judging Jollibee Strawberry Fries

I was tired and low from studying the whole day and needed to pass few minutes outside. I was up for a little adventure and decided to try Jollibee’s Strawberry Fries. My first time hearing it? Disgusted! Just like everyone else! But I haven’t heard yet from anyone who’ve already tried it. So why not give it a try myself tonight? I realize I want to be able to say in the future that I’ve tried one from the list “25 Foods You Didn’t Know Existed But Thankful You Didn’t.”

I felt a little embarassed ordering it though because the crew had to make a second glance at me while putting my order on screen, like asking me, are you sure sir? He also even had to ask someone if they still have it.

Looking at the fries which color is paler than their ad, I had to ask Jollibee in my head, why? Whose wacky idea was this? The process must have been interesting. It smelled really sweet which I somehow expected. The first taste was surprisingly not that bad, but not the type I would crave to have again. The strawberry flavor has a resemblance to Rebisco Cream-filled Cracker, only more sour. It tasted like sweet pastry, like churros, which was okay but my mind kept reminding me that it’s my classic fries and that’s when it gets off.

It felt like being in a party and bumping with a childhood friend whom you haven’t met for a long time when lots of things have changed, and when this certain greasy aftertaste you’re very familiar with reveal itself inside your mouth, it reminds you of the good old times you can’t go back. Yup, it’s sad as an Adele song.

Maybe I’m not part of the target market and the original deep fried fries is just strongly engraved on me. I give an A for their willingness to get out of the box, but this just didn’t work for me.

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Make us proud

November 28, 2017

I’ll pass my application for exam to PRC tom. I hope everything will go well. Today, Jimson and I went to our college to have our logbooks signed. As expected, Ar. Ted had to play around and make fun of us before we get our intent. We had to pass time listening to his infatuations on guys on his Facebook feed. It wasn’t as annoying as you might think, we’re used to him pulling that naughty side especially when you need something from him (apart from being a strict-ass dean). Jimson and I had our fair share of courtesy laughs. I love the old man though, I think he’s really smart and well seasoned in the industry.

Jimson said he really asks his students to go down on their knees as he blesses them for the exams. I had to say “really?” when Ar. Ted asked me to go down. Then he said words like “I bless you to blah blah” while lightly tapping my logbook over my head and around my shoulders. I want to believe some magical power was bestowed upon me.

When I get up, he streched his arms open towards me. I was hesitant at first but I hugged him back firmly. It wasn’t like a hug as casual good bye with friends, it’s like a hug from a parent on an airport. That kind which I had to lightly pat his back as if he cried. He wished us luck and asked to make them proud in his soft and sincere voice. I really felt his blessing and encouragement to us. I promise I’d bring him flowers and chocolates when we get through the exam.

Jimson and I went to lagoon at main for lunch. There were no tables for us so we decided to just find a shaded area on the amphitheater. We were able to somehow quiz each other over our karaage and tonkatsu. I also had mango-lychee shake and it was one of the best I had there.

Then we went for Rush Id. Jimson already has his pictures, but after I saw it I told him that PRC may require one that his ears are shown. His hair have never been this long, but it’s still in an awkward length that he looks like he came back from the 80’s. It looks pretty cool in my opinion. He said he’ll only cut it after he pass the exam. I’m not sure about the ears issue, I might’ve heard that’s what you need on formal documents.

There were available coats on the shop and one fitted fine on me, unfortunately, they were all too big on Jimson. I don’t know why he still decided to wear it, he looked stupid and we were laughing the whole time! Back in college up to now, I swear we could still laugh at anything. I couldn’t help myself cracking while he’s being shot. He ended up in a facial expression like he’s about to shit.

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Ligalig na naman si acoe

November 27, 2017

Kanina pa ako gising, around 3am. My mind is hyper again simula pa kanina to the point of not being able to do what I need to do, especially studying. Kung anu-ano na naman pinaggagagawa ko. Sure there are, and will be times like these pero di pwedeng always out of hand. So here I am, sitting at our dining area, drinking a cup of Energen (gutom na kasi ako), trying to understand myself, trying to be calm and in control.

Hanggang hapon ok pa naman ako sa pag-aaral, though pilit and anxious na. Pagkaalis nila mama & Lia (family outing), medyo nagwalwal na ako. Started makipagkulitan sa messenger, watched random YouTube videos. I know I have to stay away from such distractions but I found myself desperately looking for fun. Hanggang sa tuluyan nang nawala sa focus. Di na nakabalik.

I did some errands before having dinner (bumili ng bigas at chicken feeds). Wala lang nabanggit ko lang. Excited ako mag-dinner nun kasi gusto kong mag-plating. Art and shit, tapos ise-send ko sa friends ko on messenger.

Joke lang yang mga serving na yan. Parang 5x yung kinain ko. Stress eating, masuka-suka ako after. Tapos di pa daw ako nakuntento, naisipan ko pa daw mag-pic sa banyo habang naliligo (naaaliw ako sa daw).

Tapos nanuod ulit ako ng videos and started to feel guilty, sad and tired for all the wasted time. I decided to take a long nap at 11:30pm-12:30am, because I know if nothing’s going well, just fucking sleep. Sa sofa lang ako humiga para di mahirapan magising. But I ended up waking up at 3am pa din. Ang creepy lang, kasi eksaktong 3am, like what’s up ghosts? Pero inaantok pa din ako. So I decided to go to my room at ituloy na lang ang pagtulog.

Unfortunately, YouTube prevailed again despite my sleepiness, hanggang 5:30am. Found myself enjoying Kris Aquino’s channel. I just stopped, stared at the ceiling and sighed, “Dafuq am I doing?” which ended me up here sitting at the dining area.

So…what’s the problem? (Evaluation time!):

a. YouTube is definitely a distraction for me. Set specific times only when I could browse and watch. 2-3 videos should be enough, and smartly choose the informative ones para di ako naha-hype on not so important stuff.

b. Just stick to your plan! Stop worrying! You didn’t make one for nothing! Focus what’s on your plate!

c. Sleep/close your eyes when you feel nothing’s going right or you’re not in the mood. Listen to a soothing music.

I think that’s about enough. Exactly 1 hour of writing (the usual). Pero manunuod ako ng Miss Universe 2018 mamayang 8am. Minsan lang naman mga ma’am/sir. Will force myself reading a book on breaks. Bye and good morning! Inaantok pa ako!

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1st day of E-Design

November 24, 2017

9:40 pm na, nasa Nichols Stn. pa din ako ng PNR. 8am yung start ng klase namin. 1st meeting. With Ar. Pugeda! Ano na! What happened sakin? Bakit di ako nagising sa  alarm ko (di naman ako nagpuyat). Haaay. Wala na nga akong pagka-review kahapon, tapos late pa ako ng kalahating araw sa klase ngayon!

Nag-ayos lang ako ng kwarto/mga gamit ko kagabi, just to prep myself for the long day that it’s gonna be today (8am-5pm, then 6pm-9pm). E kaso eto nga late nagising. Di nakaligo. Walang maayos na breakfast. Di nakapagbaon. Ramdam na ramdam ko pa kahirapan ng Pilipinas sa commute ngayon.

2017-11-24 10-1724288096..jpg

1st time I tried Cow Wow. Sarap, in fairness.

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