Fear And It’s Forms

When I checked the date of my oldest posts, they are way back in October and November 2011. I didn’t expect to be writing again in these same months, and it’s already 2013. Lol. What happened there? Maybe sembreak is the only time I can do things like this but as I have a different approach now, I can easily update every now and then. Before, I used to write everything first on paper before putting it up online, but now I’m doing direct typing. Also, I incorporate photos now instead of just depending on the sketches I make in MS Paint. I became less perfectionist and it feels better! 😀

I got a notification and was surprised that it was this blog’s anniversary on the day its stats boomed the most, I got so many views and good feedbacks a few days ago, maybe it’s because the fact that I shared a link on one of our university Facebook groups. Lol. It took a while for me to do that coz I hesitated that it might seem I’m pushing too hard for this blog, which I’m really not. I was just testing the waters and it was amazing coz I got a lot of fish! Lol. That served a gift for this blog. 😀

Also, students post random things about school there and I thought my last post was relative. It’s our sembreak and it’s just that I got nothing much to do. I find writing really fun coz for a moment, I’m the one who decides for readers what to picture and feel. I love painting and it’s just like this, but using words. So I really appreciate it when people give time to read just like what you’re doing now. Thank you, reader!

From what I personally observed, people go on what are easy to understand. In these days, most people won’t give a try on write-ups like this (most people would prefer things that are understood-as-perceived like pictures) unless it is required, they find it interesting, they find you interesting, they know you as a person, they already like how you write or reading is just part of their interests. Good titles may get them but not too long, it has to be sustained. Wow! Where am I getting all this! I feel like a pro. Loljk! Though I think I won’t post to that kind of groups again, just not exactly my type of readers. Hehe.

There are many writers with different styles, and I believe that somehow, they know the purpose of why they’re writing or whom they’re writing to. Some prefer it informative, some prefer it funny, some prefer it poetically sad. The latter is mainly to express, or maybe to impress. When it comes to me, all I want is a casual free-writing, as if I’m just having a good chat in a Sunday afternoon, nice and easy.

*sips coffee*

I also prefer English coz I honestly feel bare naked when using Tagalog (Filipino language) when free-writing. In this way, I can sort of exercise my conversational grammar but then of course, actual speaking is a lot better. I’m not as fluent as you might think and I honestly suck at writing formal papers. I don’t know, I feel forced and confined to a specific subject which really bore me down. I want it random and fun! Lol. 😀

Speaking of random, November is just around the corner and along with it of course, is what they call Halloween! Although we don’t celebrate it, we celebrate my sister’s birthday instead, coz it’s on Nov. 1. I thought its roots of people giving importance and remembering the dead is somewhat interesting and how people associated it with scare, or its deeper form, fear.

So what do you fear the most and why?

When I was a kid, what I fear the most is the human’s skeleton. When we had to go to the hospital, I literally run with closed eyes when passing through hallways because there are posters of the skeletal system on the walls! Lol. I remember our good old Windows 98 has a screensaver of a skeleton back then, I really go behind the monitor and scream for someone to remove it for me. They were all just laughing. I don’t exactly know its roots but it’s obviously what happens to a dead body, it eventually turns into a skeleton and seeing one standing especially moving scared the hell out of me. Lol.

We also had a middle-age woman neighbor who loves telling scary stories to me even if I don’t want her to. She usually ends it up with a boo at my face! I was so scared of her that even just imagining her face now gives me a cringe. Apparently, our fears today is deeply rooted in our childhood.

Perhaps, I got mature that what I fear now is mostly not tangible things anymore such as heights, growing old unsuccessful, death of relatives, to be left by whom I considered friends, to be unloved or to grow old without someone to love. Things that almost all of us are afraid of. Wew! Didn’t expect myself to get mushy under the subject fear. Lol.

With my friends, I’m one of the least scared when it comes to creepy instances like sudden goosebumps for no reason, appearances of unlikely human figures somewhere or hearing of strange sounds.

I tend to reason out these things with reality. Different countries have their own kind of ghosts and mythical creatures, I wonder what do they call them. With all of their kinds, they’re perfect characters for card games. Lol.

Have you encountered some? What happened? Fortunately, I don’t have any personal experience to share, or maybe becoz I just don’t give too much concern about them. Honestly, I’m a bit doubtful that they exist, that maybe they’re really all just creation of the human mind! On the contrary, I’m not hoping for them to prove their existence to me. Lol.

Here’s a list of Filipino folklore creatures that I know and their special attack. Jk! I think there are a lot them featured in Juan Dela Cruz (TV Show) but I don’t watch it, so maybe some of you know these mythical creatures better than I do.

The Tikbalang

[ Photo from http://www.smashinglists.com ]

These creatures are half human, half horse. I’m not sure if it’s really the upper half is the horse and the bottom half is the human or maybe the other way around. I’ve also read that it can be a mixture, like it has a human body but the arms and legs are of horse. It is said that they rape women to breed. Do I find them scary? Of horse! Lol. #waley

I’ve heard many stories about them but what I remember the most is the story of my grandma. As a kid, she grew in the province of Marinduque which is not yet fully developed until now. Some areas still don’t have electricity and use fire as the source of heat and light, what more way back in the 1960’s! From what I see in screens, the usual form of the tikbalang is the one with a horse’s head but from my lola‘s story, it’s the other way around. She said it was a lady and a white horse, a very beautiful one!

One day, when she was still a little girl, lola was walking alone in a forest along a mountain and from a distance, there it was, she saw it staring at her. I asked if she got scared by the sight of it but she told me that she’s more of stunned coz it’s really beautiful. I tried to ask what she looked like in detail, like did she look like someone on screen. Did she look like Anne Curtis? What was the expression of her face, was it an angry stare or frightened?

[ Edited photo from http://www.pictify.com ]

My lola just gave me vague answers and it seemed she didn’t want to talk more about it. That story was told to me when I was a little kid and I’m not sure if I can ask her again about that now coz I know when she’s really uncomfortable with something.

She ended her story that it ran into a cave along the side of the mountain. #eerie.

The Kapre

[ http://www.cloudminedesign.deviantart.com ]

I think I’m more scared of kapres than tikbalangs. These are shadow-like hairy huge human figures that is seen sitting on branches of huge trees. They usually seen smoking.

I now feel lazy describing and sharing a story on each and everyone of them so I’ll just show pictures. Lol.

The Santelmo

[www.philippinemythicalcreatures.blogspot.com]

The Manananggal

[ http://www.mythicalrealm.com ]

The Syokoy

[ http://www.neocatastrophic.deviantart.com ]

Now, I feel laaazy finding pictures and attaching their source so I’ll just draw them. -_-

The Diwata

The Dwende

The Aswang

The Multo

Lol.

To wrap this all up, I want to share my personal thoughts about fear. They say that we are just afraid of the unknown, that we aren’t scared of the dark but what’s in it.

Actually, most of the time, I’m not afraid of the unknown and I look forward to new wild things. Perhaps, I can easily embrace change whether good or bad coz after all, everything happens for a reason, and always for the better. But as humans, fear eventually creeps in every now and then. I don’t believe anyone exists without fear. Fear only shows that we care, and we are sometimes afraid of the unknown coz there’s the risk that we might get hurt, and we don’t want that coz we care about ourselves.

We’re afraid to lose something coz it’s important to us, and we fear to lose these people coz we love them.

As I shared earlier, I’m not afraid of these nasty creatures. Although demons and evil spirits might really exist along with their unexplainable powers, I still won’t be. You wanna know why, coz my God is way very powerful than them.

This is the usual look of our kitchen at night and when fear starts to attack my mind, I have this natural counter attack called…

Happy memories.

And I have a lot of them. 😀

Happy holidays,

Felbert

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Journal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s