Dear someone special,
Looking back, I used to be that lonely guy on train dreaming about sad songs. Yep, my life before was pretty dim and it had always been just me. Of course, I got friends and family who have always been there but you know, sometimes even if days seemed perfectly fine, I would still end up in bed staring at some random star. Then I’d wonder if, out of those countless stars, there’s someone out there staring at the same exact glint at the same time. What does that person look like? Are we feeling the same way? Oh, that sounds cliché.
I would always wonder how my life will turn out and what it is going to be like. It would make me scared, to be honest. I wasn’t hopeful about future especially that things weren’t working too well for me. Time after time, I met people that somehow kept me going. My heart would beat fast whenever I’d be with them. Unfortunately, none of them felt exactly the same way. I didn’t know holding on uncertainty would be that precarious. I had never imagined it would be that painful. There were dark days. I became adventurous and realized life is just a big joke, that there are many lies you have to figure out.
Sometimes, lost is the most beautiful place to find yourself. And there you were. It makes me smile remembering the day I realized it. You made me feel like I’m some rock star living the life. One day, I just woke up addicted to you, admiring every little trait of you and things that you do. I adore the poetry about us, the humor of vice, danger and angst. I like how naturally sexy you are, how your eyes smile, how you laugh, how your voice lingers in my head and so on. I can’t believe how perfect you became in my eyes, even your clumsiness is adorable. I also admire your exquisite taste, such as um…myself (lol). You might be sniggering while reading this because whenever I tell you things like these, you always do. Maybe because of how cheesy I am, but you really are and I’m serious about it.
I never thought I’ll be so blessed, or cursed if you realize the pun, but I’m so grateful to have you. Like what you’ve told me, I also can’t guarantee that I’ll never have mistakes, but I can guarantee you as well that I care for you, that I don’t want you hurt, down or troubled because it’ll crush me. All I want is to make you happy.
I would still end up in bed staring at some random star, but I won’t care anymore if out of those countless stars someone might be staring at the same glint at the same time. Because I realized the wonder is in that star itself, and I’ve already found it.
Happy 1st year,
PS, this song is for ya.