Open Letter

Dear Someone,

Hello. 😄 I think I have to reply…or at least react to that letter, don’t I? If I was the one who wrote and gave that, I probably wouldn’t want it to hang in dead air. First of all, I want you to know that I’m chill about it and I won’t runaway. 😄 You don’t have to feel worried, feel embarrassed or anything. Second, I admire the damn courage, although it was really impulsive. Or maybe not, maybe you’re already aware and prepared the idea that things might get a little uncomfortable? You mentioned that if you could actually give it to me tomorrow, you’ll be amazed to yourself, so congrats! 😂✌️ The feeling you have is probably bothering you that’s why you did that and I just hope you get the relief out of it.

“Alam ko naman na kung ano yung sayo, yun talaga yung sasabihin mo without thinking of the other person.”

Uy, di naman sa ganun. I would consider the person but not to the point of giving false hopes or lying to myself. Ang importante yung totoo. Dati may nagsabi sakin na paasa daw ako, pero di ko alam yun. Kapag may gusto ako, I give my all for it, and I’m talking about anything in general. Di ako nag-aalinlangan, di ako natotorpe. Kapag tingin nila nasa grey area ako, sila lang nag-iisip nun. It’s just that wala akong interes dun.

Also, di ako yung tipo na nagko-compress ng thoughts/feelings. Kapag di ako nagsasalita, ayoko lang talaga. Dahil siguro nakakatamad, may iniisip akong ibang bagay or I think it’s not the way I want to say/express it. Kapag may ganun akong thoughts/feelings, nilalabas ko lang through art, nagsusulat ako or nagpo-post sa social media. Wala akong Hard Feelings tulad ng sinasabi ni Lorde. 😂 I like that you can’t read my mind. I like that you’re intrigued by me. I never wanted to be predictable.

Btw, naka-public talaga lahat ng posts ko dito. Gusto ko talaga na binabasa ng mga tao tong blog ko although I cringe kapag nababasa ko sila ulit especially the old ones. Sorry that I had to write here. Papansin ako, I like publicity yet I pose secrets, I’m driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide. I think nakuha ko to kung pano ako pinalaki. Like art, enigmatic lang siguro ako para sayo.

Antok na me.

Felbert

 

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