January 31, 2018
Aaaghhh!!! How long do we still have to wait for the results, PRC?! The website is just giving this red blinking line that says “now updating for the official list of passers…refresh page for the results.” It kinda gets into your nerves especially when you’ve been refreshing since noon. The website doesn’t say a specific day and time for the release but it says the results will be out on January 2018 and it’s already February tomorrow, so maybe? Why can’t PRC commit to an exact date anyway? I just want to get on with my life already! I’m such a scumbag since the last day of our exam, life feels like there’s no direction because I just don’t know where to start. I need to know first if I got through or not. Aside from being worthless, I even haven’t clean my room or fix any of my things since then. Still not in the mood going to the barbers yet, and ain’t have a plan taking a shower today because it requires too much effort.
All I do all day is eat, sleep, play Virtua Tennis 4, watch movies/YouTube videos and repeat. I’ve been trying to paint here and there just as I planned, but I’m not really feeling it. I thought I was yearning to do it for the past months but now that I have time, I realized it ain’t easy. I’m also trying to avoid conversation on social media with friends and officemates. I know these people are just concerned and I’m grateful for them but I just don’t have the energy to express myself yet. I don’t know what face I’ll be showing them if I failed. About the office, some of us will have to go back to work tomorrow. Thankfully, I’m scheduled to be back next week Monday, because damn, I’m so not yet ready.
The two films I watched recently, while devouring a pint of ice cream all by myself, was Ladybird and Call Me By Your Name because rumor has it that they’re good. I don’t know and care about you all might think, but I really love both films with all my heart! These are my kind of shit! Saoirse Ronan, Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet, they all have a special place in my heart now.
I’m going to end this post with a soundtrack from Call Me By Your Name, not sure if you can call it that because it’s a 1982 song but whatever. I love the other soundtracks as well but most of them just makes me want to cry, so I’m choosing this one with a nostalgic, peaceful and happy vibe instead.