Anyare August

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Ang bilis ng mga bwan, shet! Nanjan na naman yung memes ni Jose Mari Chan na sumisilip! 🤣 What a bad luck that I’m spending the start of “Ghost month” at home nursing my injured right knee. Naaksidente na naman kasi ako sa volleyball nung isang gabi, the first one was on my left knee on 2016 at the same court. 😔 Sucks that I’m posting about this first instead of my recent birthday.

Ganito kasi nangyari – nag-set si Paul sakin for a middle spike, I ran and jumped from behind tapos pag-land ko sa floor, rinig na rinig ko yung pag-crack ng tuhod ko, feeling ko nga it was loud enough for everyone to hear, pero parang ako lang yung nakarinig. Tapos napahiga na ako sa sahig tightly holding my knee up on my chest, wincing from the sharp pain. Thoughts running in my mind were, “shet ano na namang nangyari saken?,” “nabalian ba ako ng buto?,” “muka akong tanga dito.” It took a while bago nila mapansin na I was still lying on floor, saka nila ako pinagkumpulan sa gitna, walang tumutulong saken for a couple of seconds, they were all just staring at me. Siguro di din nila alam ang gagawin. Pero in fairness dito sa volleyball ah, ang takaw sa aksidente within just half of the year. I heard someone said “tawag na kayo ng medical.” Hanggang sa tinulungan na nila ako to calmly breathe, lie on my back and straighten up my leg. After nun unti-unti nang nag-subside yung pain. “yey, sick leave,” I thought. 😅 I remembered being conscious pa sa facial expresson ko kasi alam kong lahat sila nakatingin saken.

Inalalayan ako nila Sam and sir Alvin sa court side to rest, saka dumating si nurse Pat para lagyan ako ng benda at ice pack. The whole time I was hesitating kung magli-leave ba ako the following days kasi sobrang daming rushed drawings sa team namin, also because the pain was becoming tolerable (and I didn’t like that because half of me wants to take a leave anyways). Gulo noh?

I took a Grab going home for P490 (di ako maka-get-over, ang mahal). Salamat nga pala kanila Che at Franz sa pag-alalay at paghatid sakin sa sakayan. Pagdating sa bahay, pumapak na naman ako ng bare-baretang chocolates. Hanggat meron talaga sa harapan ko, di ko tinatantanan e, kaya fucked up sugar level ko lately. Dala na din siguro ng stress at lungkot (wow).

Woke up in the morning at 5:30am without an alarm. Malamig at umuulan. Galing ng body clock ko, pero pinulikat naman yung left leg ko, tangena. Kaninang umaga pinakamasakit yung injury ko and I was really struggling to walk, kaya naman guilt-free na akong nag-text kanila sir Raf/Mike na di ako makakapasok. Sabi ko nga kanila Che nung gabing yun kelangan sumakit to e, kasi magi-guilty lang ako buong araw. Though I took a leave, I decided to still work on my loads. Nahihiya na din talaga kasi ako kay sir Mike. Kelangan na yung drawings sa site! Aaaghhh! Feeling ko ambagal-bagal ng team namin, di kasi kami ni sir Raf nag-oot on weekdays unlike some teams (but I would on weekends). Karapatan rin naman namin yun.

Pakiramdam ko college ako ulit while doing drawings at home. Pero tangina, di ko alam kung anong nangyayare pero parang nagloloko lahat. First of all, etong cp ko. Ambagaaal! I’ve bought this on June 2016. Bili na ba ako? Parang burat na burat na sya sa dami ng files & data. Yung pics naman I try to transfer once in a while. Ano ba yang mga cookie na yan?! (charot, alam ko yun)

2nd, my Gmail. Ayaw na nya maka-receive at maka-send! Full memory na daw. Kelangan ko na daw mag-avail ng additional storage. Hassle! I’ve been using my Gmail since college, pero organized ako sa email. Di ako yung hinahayaan na may 2,368 unopened messages, and I delete if I don’t need them anymore including the ones on trash. Categorized pa yung saken, including subscriptions. Yung mga ka-batch ko jan sa gmail, ni-require na din ba kayo magdagdag ng storage?

3rd, wtf is wrong with you Yahoo Mail? Bakit everytime na maglo-log ako kelangan pa ng sms verification? Ang hassle pa when I’m on mobile kasi kapag iche-check ko na yung text message code, mawawala na yung original login page so panibagong text message code na naman, tapos mawawala na naman yung login page so it’s a fucking cycle that I’ll never get through!

4th, hirap na hirap yung laptop namin with its free AutoCAD 2010. Ang bagal! I don’t know, I didn’t have so much time to upgrade & clean all its shit. Gone are the days na eto pinakamalakas among my college mates’ laptops.

Puro konsumisyon. Thankfully, na-send ko this Friday yung drawing na ginagawa ko kahit papano. Pinilit ko na lang ipasa, because I’ve already committed it to be sent yesterday but wasn’t able to. Kaninang umaga, I committed again to send it before 10am, pero ayun, 2pm ko na kinaya! Hayst, nakakahiya. 😔 I wonder kung anong dadatnan ko sa Monday. Stress Fest! Kumusta kaya si sir Raf? Dami kong naiwang urgent tasks, e alam kong fully-loaded rin sya. I’ve tried being a one-man team for a time, and it’s the worst. Sorry talaga. Pero in fairness naman sa team ko, wala silang pinaparamdam sakin na pressure. Like, “kami na muna bahala.” Thank you, sir Mike & Raf.

On the other hand, di ko ginusto mapilayan at this crucial point. It kinda feels unfair na nahihirapan kami nang ganito. Bakit kasi ayaw magdagdag ng tao? Nabubulunan na kami e. Kasalanan ba namin to? Maybe partly yes, kasi responsibility rin namin na di paabutin sa ganitong point, but God knows I try to work hard every single day. Samantalang yung ibang officemate namin, keribels lang ang workload tapos same sahod pa din naman, minsan nga mas malaki pa yung sa kanila. Well, ganito nga siguro yung sinasabi ng iba sa corporate world. Hopefully, I’ll be in a way better situation than this.

I tried to express my guilt to friends and family na napilayan ako at this time na tambak ang workloads and deadlines, and that I prefer to still work at home. They gave me what I wanted to hear – I deserve to rest. They told me na wag ako magpakaalipin, and that the company won’t save me in the end. Sabi nga ni papa, “kahit bumagsak pa yang DMCI, kesa naman ikaw yung bumagsak.” That’s exaggeration but we know what he mean.

Before I end this, quick share lang on my check-up. Gusto kong i-bash yung duktor pero baka ma-Yeng Constantino ako. Tho I don’t really know her issue and haven’t seen her video, nadadaanan ko lang comments ng mga tao sa soc med. Anyways, di ko na lang sasabihin kung saan, pero wtf yung consultation, wala pang 3 minutes. Ni di ako tinanong kung san masakit o gano kasakit. When I showed her my leg, she just told me na maga. In my head, I know na di naman maga e. O baka di lang talaga ako bilib, kasi she was pointing on a certain part of my knee na maga daw, but I know na di naman dun yung tama e, alam ko kung san part ako nasaktan. Kairita din na sira daw yung x-ray machine nila and instructed me to go somewhere else instead. Eh bakit kasi di nila sinabi kaagad para dun na lang ako dumerecho (mag-isa nga lang pala ako pumunta dun, fyi). Niresetahan nya lang ako ng mga gamot, but it won’t help the healing raw. Para lang raw sa maga at kirot. Fuck, I could’ve just Googled that myself (charot). So yun na yun? P500 na yun?

Sungit ko noh. Tangena, Titos of Manila reprezent. Anyways, Happy Cinemalaya 2019 bukas! I’m so excited to see the films!!! Bye.

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